It was a month ago yesterday that you were taken from us, decades too soon. In that month, those of us you left behind have become closer than ever. I guess you can be happy about that. Many of us have said, "I hope I take on some of Rasha's patience, acceptance, zest for life" in order to have truly learned from your example. Sadly, all I can say so far is I've taken on some of your eating habits. Maybe that's just a step in a more tolerant direction.
You've left some pretty stunned people in your wake. Those of us who didn't know each other before have clung together to try to glean more of you from each other. We've celebrated your life, your birthday, your boyfriend's birthday, several other friends' birthdays & the Punk Rope DVD release. We've attended each other's plays & games, gone on 2 beach trips, picnicked, bowled & dined together. At every event, there was a huge void -- something making us all tear up, that we don't have to explain. There's never a smile or a laugh without the wistful thought, "Rasha should be here." You are greatly missed.
Even though it's been a month, it still feels unreal. None of us truly accepts the truth of the matter. And as I sit in an ICU waiting room for the second time in a month, I keep asking, "Why?" Why not the redneck sitting across from me who's obviously never met a fried vegetable she didn't love, a cigarette she didn't smoke or a beer she didn't chug? Why not the enormous lady from the other day who kept stuffing french fries down her gullet, apparently trying to make a quick transition from the Cardiac ICU waiting room to a semi-private room? Why not the little shithead who took your life, instead of you? None of it makes any sense. Maybe none of it ever will.
You are forever missed.
4 comments:
You're right kitten. I have those "What would Rasha do" and "How can I be more like Rasha" moments. I look around at our events and think "Rasha should be here". I still think about her every day and I can't believe what happened. I remember Joe Katz saying, as if talking to God, "Rasha? You're taking Rasha?! Are you kidding me???" And it's the same sentiment you described, there are so many others who do not deserve to be here. It's beyond unfair, it's downright cruel that she was taken.
I love you poodle, and I hope you're home soon. xoxo
don't make me cry ... i'm wearing a lot of eyeliner today.
i think rasha would be very proud of how close we've all become in the past month. we were all close before but now i feel like we are truly bonded. i love you guys like family. josue and i cheered like crazy when you and your man came on the screen at the punk rope dvd screening. and we both commented to each other how we were sad that you guys weren't there.
i'm not exactly sure what's going on, but i hope everything's ok. and i hope to see you soon!!!
xoxo
miss dewey decimal
Team Sexy, you mean the world to me. Like you said today, Miss Dewey Decimal, we're a bunch of people who met at the gym...how'd this happen? I don't know, but I'm thankful everyday that I did something karmically good enough to deserve your friendship. I count the closer bonds we've built in the last month as a silver lining to something that seems to have no rhyme or reason. It doesn't make losing our friend any less painful or senseless, but I know it'd be a lot harder without each other. I love you sexies! oxxxo
do you think your beautiful, loving and generous friend would approve of this sort of thought supposedly on her behalf?
" Why not the redneck sitting across from me who's obviously never met a fried vegetable she didn't love, a cigarette she didn't smoke or a beer she didn't chug? Why not the enormous lady from the other day who kept stuffing french fries down her gullet, apparently trying to make a quick transition from the Cardiac ICU waiting room to a semi-private room? Why not the little shithead who took your life, instead of you?"
I get you were/are grieving but you cannot determine who is more worthy of living any more than you can answer the philosophical questions of your own life.
This was cruel and painful to read. Maybe her work was done. Ours is not t question why and it's certainly not to play who is more deserving to die.
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