While there, I was recruited by my friends in the world-famous Gotham Girls Jeerleaders to become a member of the hottest group of pom-pom-toting bitches in the Big Bad Apple. Come next season, yours truly will be trackside as one of Manhattan's Jailhouse Rockettes.
Now, some of you might ask, "Why Manhattan? Why not Brooklyn, you treasonous lech?" Well, because my friend Lizzie Warden claimed me for her very own, & how, my friends, could I fight someone named Lizzie Warden?
Some others of you might ask, "Why a Jeerleader & not a skater? I thought you wanted to be a rollergirl." Well, yeah. Even a year ago, I would've said "Hell yeah, I'm gonna be a rollergirl!" But after trying out & being rejected twice, I started playing soccer to get in prime condition & enjoy the camaraderie of a team sport in the meantime. Turns out, I really dig it & I get plenty hurt (just check out my bruises of the week) kicking balls & ass on McCarren's soccer fields every Friday night. Hell, I even got stitches (about which I really meant to blog)!
So Fifi Fleshwound might never skate on the flat-track, but I will be an official member of the supporting cast next season. If you haven't yet been initiated into the wonderful world of women's flat-track roller derby, or if you've got a hankerin' for another fun- & blood-filled bout, the Championship Bout between the Bronx Gridlock & the Queens of Pain is October 25th. If you can't make that bout, you'll have to wait for next season when you'll get a load of my fantastic jeering skills along with the uber-amazing action of the derby.
In the meantime, I have to come up with a sexy, bad-ass Jeerleader name -- preferably with Fifi, of course, but I'm open to any suggestion. So, help me out with a jeering moniker & earn my undying devotion. Do it. Do it now.
