Who would think that an empty bottle of Guinness could start a small war? Until last week, I didn't think it was possible, but now I've seen the light -- and it comes on every time I step out of my front door.
When I walked out last Friday morning, I was met on the stairs by this very same empty beer bottle. It sat on one of the stairs, halfway between our floor & the one below us, with a dollar slipped beneath it. I left it there, thinking, "Well, surely our neighbors will pick it up this afternoon or evening and that'll be that." They'd had people over the night before, and, I guess, didn't have time to clean up yet. So I walked past it all day & didn't think twice about it. That evening, when the man came home, I mentioned it to him. He said, "Oh yeah, that dollar was crumpled on the landing, as if someone had reached in his pocket for his keys & dropped the dollar in the process, so I picked it up, straightened it out and put it under the bottle as an incentive for them to pick up the bottle." "Good thinkin', baby. Surely, they'll want that buck, at least for a snort-tunnel," I responded.
And the bottle sat there.
And sat there.
Finally, on Monday, sick of seeing it on the stairs, I decided to take the dollar as an "asshole tax" and leave the bottle squarely in front of their door. I was making a statement, damn it -- loud and clear.
That night, they came home & moved the bottle in front of our door. The man kept me from exploding and just moved it back in front of their door.
The next day, they moved it directly between our doors, as in the accompanying picture, taken Wednesday. I left it there, refusing to touch it again, and deciding that we'd leave it there until our landlord came for the rent and let him hash it out with them. I washed my hands of it.
Friday evening, I headed to Union Square to hand off the RightRides dispatch bag to this weekend's dispatcher, and met the man near his office to ride the subway home with him.
As we reached the top of the stairs, the motion light flicked on, and we were met with an empty hallway. To both our shock, they'd actually picked the damn thing up. A full week and several moves later, the battle of the bottle was over. And we had won.
7 comments:
I don't know, poodle. If they're so immature and disgusting in the first place, I don't know if I trust this is over. I can see the bottle reappearing at some point.
But what a bunch of serious assholes.
So very true! One battle is won, but I don't trust them farther than the stairs down which I can shove them. And that's not that far. And just because the bottle's gone for now, doesn't mean it or something else might appear at some point. Nor does it mean they're being any quieter when they come home in the middle of the night.
But it's nice to win at least one! God damn hipsters!
had to delete my comment ... there was a typo ... oh, the shame! anyway ... you are my hero. do you think you can come over to my hallway and figure out which door needs to have the old dried up onion skin placed in front of it?
Mistress, I am all over that. Dried up onion skins are as unacceptable as they are unappetizing.
Maybe I should start a hallway accessory consulting business.
I love it. I'm hoping this will be a weekly installment..."Our ongoing battle with the Hipsters, Episode 2"
Anyhow, I finished my last NYC post on old blog, and posted to my new blog which will focus on my Adventures in Silicon Valley. Its this one..http://confessionsofasanho.blogspot.com/
It might just become a regular installment, indeed. There are regular head-butts, mostly over noise, but there's some really great drama there.
I can't wait to read about the SanHo, Cherie!
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