crap -- i've been labeled

All this time I'd been saying I didn't want a lavish wedding, or even a wedding per se -- because I don't want a froufrou dress, DEFINITELY no family & no attendants (because that always seems to devolve into a popularity contest & I couldn't do that to the people I love the most) -- it turns out that I'm an "anti-bride."

With all my anti-consumer-religio-corporate-marriage leanings, I've been pegged as my very own tidy demographic. Damn it all to hell.

bruise of the week (3 installments in one!)

bruise week uno

Our 1st candidate for glory tonight is from my first soccer game, April 25th. I took a cleat to the inside of my right knee -- from a guy who probably had a good 50 lbs. on me. It's just kind of amazing that he didn't break my leg.


bruise week dos

Our next beauty is from the last week of May. I wish I had a really cool story to go with it -- like I knocked out some Amazon woman's teeth when she shoved her way on the subway one morning. But it ain't so. I stepped out of the way of a woman in my office & ran my hand into a metal hand railing. This one was hot & lasted a long time.


bruise week tres

Our current contender is a swollen, ugly knuckle that makes it painful for me to even walk. That's right, this bitch is my big toe knuckle. I did this 2 weeks ago in a soccer game. I kicked the crap out of a guy, trying to get the ball from him. He was totally asking for it.


We also have a runner up for this week -- I took the full brunt of a hurtling soccer ball to the...wait for it...RIGHT knee. My poor right leg has really taken a beating in soccer.


So, how does your black & blue look this week?

it's thurs...wtf, it's friday already?!

This week has come & gone like so many others -- swiftly & without enough chocolate.

With the week's end, there are a few things I have to get off my chest.

1) Strapless dresses should never, under any circumstances, be acceptable office wear. Not even for ladies. If I see another girl tugging to keep her boobs covered during a meeting, I might just call her out for dressing like her mom when she's working the corner. And it's just now June, for christ's sake. I have several more months for this.

2) People with hooves in place of toes should not be allowed to wear flip-flops, sandals, mandals or any other type of open shoe. I almost threw up on a lady this morning, switching from the G to the V at Court Square. Her right big toe was so gnarled it was like a tree stump became human.

3) I'm still at work while everyone in my office packs up & leaves. I need to go mourn Tim Russert's passing -- what an amazing political reporter. He will be greatly missed.


So, I'm heading out to prepare for my last regular season soccer game. We're tied for 2nd going into the game, so wish us luck, bitches. If you can't make it to cheer on the Badgers tonight, next week & the week after are the playoffs. In case you're gonna miss those due to previous commitments, outrageous airfare costs or that restraining order, here's a picture our very own precious Bitch Cakes took of yours truly (from May 23rd).

Tomorrow, look for a new post -- that will hopefully be a regular installment: bruise of the week. I have a few weeks of glorious black, blue, purple & green to catch you up on.