Monday, March 31, 2008

oh, sorry, sorry

Ladies, why is it that we cannot approach the same door, simultaneously, from either side without apologizing to each other?

Here’s a handy reenactment from the office.

As I approach the ladies’ room door, as I do, sometimes dozens of times everyday, the door is pulled open before me. The woman who begins to emerge says, “Oh, sorry,” as I immediately breathe out, without thinking, “Sorry.”

Here’s another reenactment. Similar, but with a slight variation. Still at the office, because I pee there a lot.

After yet another gallon of fake-tea-flavored water, I approach the ladies’ room door. This time, I turn the handle & begin to push the door in. (I rarely push very hard, as I am extremely sensitive to the fact that there is often another person smack-dab on the other side of it, just praying for me not to send them sailing into the wall or ass-ending them onto the floor.) Typically, before the door is fully open, I’m face-to-face with whoever was trying to exit the bathroom before I arrived to open the door & fuck everything up for her. I immediately spit out, “Sorry,” as I’m met with, “Oops, sorry” from my now-blocked-into-the-bathroom peer.

But why? Why do we apologize because we’re both trying to use the same door from different directions? Is it dick to not apologize, to merely open the door & say nothing, or stand aside as they open the door & say nothing?

I’ve decided to take a stand beginning today. I will not apologize for being on the other side of the door. Let’s see how the ladies of my super-cool ad agency respond.

8 comments:

HollyMay said...

For real.

Or the obligatory chat in the elevator. I hate that.

Let me know how it goes. I'm sure before long, bitches will start talking about how rude or oddly quiet you are.

Bizarre, the zeitgeist of coolness.

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

may i chime in as a person who prides themselves on always being mannerful ...

i believe that it is polite to say "sorry" even though neither person is at fault. it's kind of like saying excuse me when someone is in your way. i think we say "sorry" because we, in some way, are apologizing for intruding on someone's personal bathroom time. ie, they were unable to leave the scene of the crime anonymously because we were standing at the door.

if you don't want to say "sorry" i think you should at least say "excuse me." we live in a society, you know.

*Bitch Cakes* said...

My ex husband was a very wise man that I owe a lot to- and one of the things he ingrained in me was that everyone over-uses "sorry". Very few times are you truly "sorry". I'm with Ms Dewey Decimal- that an "excuse me" is more appropriate 9 out of 10 times.

Or you can try "pardon" if you want to sound all fancy and shit.

Anonymous said...

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fifi said...

Though I haven't felt the effects of the backlash yet, I can feel it coming. I have switched to using "excuse me" or "pardon me," when it's absolutely necessary. Otherwise, I just simply say nothing, because I feel neither party was in the wrong.

We TOTALLY overuse the phrase "I'm sorry," & sadly, it bears less & less meaning the more people misuse it.

Funny thing is, the man didn't even know such weird customs occurred around ladies' room doors. I wonder if any of their species has observed this phenomenon.

fifi said...

Okay, Vinho, I'm not deleting your comment 'cause I find your compliment & English translation both strange & amusing.

But don't link to your wine blog on here again, please, or you will be blocked.

Unknown said...

Can women please apologize for pissing on the seat please? or wait... just stop pissing all over the seat.

SORRY!

fifi said...

Amen, Anastasia! I think we can all agree that pee on the seat requires the real apologies. I often fantasize about pointing the pee out to the woman who just walked out of said stall & publicly humiliating her, but I have yet to actually do it. One of these days, though, I'm bound to be fed up enough to do it.